Dating Disasters
by CUtopia
Summary: Muggle!AU. For years, Rolanda Hooch had one horrible date after the other. When Severus Snape came along, she finally felt like things could work out. Unfortunately, there always is a hitch.


Entry for Liza's F my Life Competition

 **Prompt:** Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

Entry for Sophie's Bookshop Challenge

Classics #1 – Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

 **Prompts:**

(word) Irony

(word) Courting (when used to describe 'dating' or 'seeing someone').

(dialogue) "Angry people are not always wise."

Entry for Ancient Runes at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

 **Task:** Write about a character shedding light on somebody else's secret.

 **Extra Prompt:** (word) cautious

Muggle!AU

Thanks a lot to Emily and Liza for helping me to beta! :)

(2840 Words)

* * *

 **Dating Disasters**

There definitely was a reason why Rolanda Hooch had grown cautious when it came to dating over time. Even though she was still rather young - barely thirty - she'd come across enough odd guys to know that it was sometimes better to stay at home.

As a former gymnast, she definitely didn't have a problem to get any dates – sometime she was recognised and asked out, or someone admired her toned body enough to want all of it.

But that probably was her problem – she always seemed to attract those who just saw her as the woman who won the world title on Vault and Floor three times in a row and also had an Olympic medal lying around. Or just the attractive woman with the hot body that was worth the effort to try and arrange a one night stand.

She wasn't sure if it was irony that she'd always strived to reach the best results in her sports career, but in her private life, she always ended up with the worst.

There had been a guy who'd invited her for dinner at his flat and who'd bluntly asked her to undress the same minute she'd entered his living room. Needless to say that the absence of food hadn't been her biggest problem on that evening.

Another one had bragged about the size of his equipment before the waiter had even brought them the wine card – she was out of there before the soup even arrived.

One had seemed to be nice and courteous, and during dinner, they'd had a very pleasant conversation. She'd found him attractive, and had already thought about asking him if he'd want to meet again at the end of the evening. Unfortunately, when they'd been at the theater, he'd started to grope her in the dark – of course, Romeo didn't live long enough to see the Second Act. She knew the saying 'Angry people are not always wise', but she definitely hadn't cared about it when she'd rammed her elbow into his groin and had left the theater.

And the very few blind dates she'd had over the time – she really didn't want to think about them.

Based on all these experiences, she'd decided to stay away from courting, and it had really felt good not to worry about how crazy the next one would be.

Therefore, it hadn't really been hard for her to stick to her intent – until Severus Snape had come along, that was.

She should have known beforehand that, with her dating history, things could only go downhill.

OoO

It had started pretty classically – boy meets girl.

Or rather: Woman runs into man in the coffee shop.

Rolanda was doing the co-commentary for national television on a big gymnastics event, and in a pause between event finals, she was in desperate need of a good coffee. Luckily, there was a coffee shop just on the other side of the street, so she dashed out of the event center, driven by her longing for a wonderful almond caramel latte macchiato.

Not even five minutes later, she held the object of her desire in her hands and a paper bag with a few cinnamon rolls – combined with her latte, it was Christmas for her taste buds.

Many spectators of the gymnastics event had obviously had the same idea as she, as the coffee shop filled with people as she wanted to leave. A chaotic queue was created, blocking her way to the doors. Nobody seemed willing to move an inch to let her through, even though she asked politely.

An annoyed sigh escaped her throat as she stood at the edge of the crowd, her eyes scanning her surroundings, searching for a way out.

Suddenly, someone stepped sideways, opening a narrow passage, and Rolanda, seeing her chance sped up immediately.

Unfortunately, someone stepped into her way in the last second, and she collided with the tall man. She only didn't fall or spilled any of her precious latte because she still had good balance from the days in which she had trained on the narrow balance beam.

"Aren't you watching where you're going?" the man snarled in a rather annoyed tone, and though Rolanda felt herself blushing, she held her head high as she answered sternly.

"It always takes two. Apparently, you weren't watching your steps either!"

She looked right into the man's dark eyes, and a distant tingle ran down her spine – his gaze was so intense and he had an air of mystery around him. He was wearing dark jeans and a black button up shirt, his black hair was carefully combed.

Obviously, he didn't quite agree with what she had said, as he was still glaring at her, and so she decided to go for a peace offering.

"Well, that's why I think we both should apologise. I am sorry I ran into you."

Rolanda offered him her hand, and he hesitated before he took it, a barely visible smile curling his lips. She immediately felt more relaxed as he responded: "I am sorry, too."

She returned his smile and their hands lingered just a tiny moment too long before they let go of each other. Shoving a blonde lock behind her ear, she couldn't motivate herself to go just yet.

"Um... as I ran into you, I guess I owe you a coffee."

"I believe that before drinking coffee with you, I should know your name." the man winked and Rolanda laughed nervously, feeling a little bit pathetic. Normally, she didn't have problems with flirting at all, but standing in front of this dark stranger, she had no idea what to say without embarrassing herself any further.

"I'm Rolanda, Rolanda Hooch."

"Severus Snape. Nice to meet you."

She felt relieved that he didn't seem to know her name, hence didn't have a clue that she was a former sports star – it always changed the mood too much for her liking.

They were just standing in front of each other, their gazes locked, and it was a little bit as if she was dreaming. If she was honest, she'd always dreamt of meeting someone who made her feel like this: slightly nervous, less self-confident, and as if she was normal.

Severus clearing his throat ripped her from her thoughts and she briefly looked at her wrist watch, noticing that it was time to go over again.

"I'm sorry, I need to go back to work now... but what would you think if we meet here again on Sunday for the coffee I promised you?"

"Would four PM be acceptable for you?" he offered, and Rolanda nodded eagerly, her smile widening.

"Uh, yes, yes, of course... see you then."

She waved awkwardly as Severus helped to open a small passageway between people for her, and before she left the coffee shop, she turned around for a last time to smile at him, nearly running into the glass doors in the process.

OoO

It felt like an eternity to Rolanda until Sunday finally came, and with it her first date with Severus. A gut feeling told her that it would be different from all the dates she'd had in the past, and she really hoped that it would be a positive kind of different.

She was buzzing internally when she took the underground to the coffeeshop, and her heart was racing when she saw Severus waiting in front of the building already, looking up and down the street. As she came closer, taking her time as she didn't want to appear too nervous, she had a spare moment to take in his features once again.

He wasn't the most handsome man on the planet, but she found that he had something unique. His poise showed self-confidence, though there was nothing arrogant about it; there was just a tiny bit of distance visible, as if he were building a barrier between himself and the people who passed by.

However, this barrier seemed to disappear in the moment he saw her coming towards him, and he hinted a bow when he greeted her.

"I hope I'm not too late." Rolanda smiled at him, and he shook his head as he opened the door for her.

"You're not, and though I appreciate your punctuality, I must admit that I would have waited here for you for quite some time if I had to."

Unable to hide her surprise about his statement, she stared at him for a short moment with wide eyes as they walked up to the counter to order their coffee. It was a new way to start a date, and if she were being honest, she did like it.

From there, it only seemed to improve.

They talked for hours, it being the most vivid conversation Rolanda had ever had on a date.

She learnt that he was a chemistry professor at the local university, and was a little bit relieved when he told her that he wasn't really into watching sports. This statement encouraged her to reveal her former gymnastics career to him, as she had the feeling it wouldn't change the way he looked at her.

Even though they mostly talked about serious matters, they also found their moments to laugh. Severus had a wicked sense of humor; dry, sarcastic and a little bit black, he could make her laugh so much that tears filled her eyes and her facial muscles hurt.

The conversation wandered, from their jobs to local politics, over books to their movie adaptations. Unfortunately, the evening came too soon for Rolanda's taste, and she felt regret when they interrupted their chat rather abruptly upon finding out that it was late.

However, there was one light of hope. When they left the coffee shop, Severus asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with him the following Friday, and she agreed so quickly to his suggestion that he looked outrightly flabbergasted.

OoO

Friday came, and they had a wonderful date in a small Peruvian restaurant, where the food was to die for. It was delicious, the cocktails were perfectly mixed and their conversation was once again inspiring. She couldn't remember ever having had so much fun on a date before.

They spontaneously went for a walk through the nearby park after dinner, talking about whatever came to their minds. As they parted at the underground station, he pressed a gentle kiss onto her cheek as they hugged, asking her out for their third date in the process.

A mere week later, Rolanda found herself in the theater, watching a magnificent opera interpretation of A Midsummer Night's Dream and sipping champagne with Severus in the pause between the acts. And while they were standing in the middle of these sophisticated people, Severus murmured his sarcastic commentaries about them into her ear, making it hard for her not to laugh out loudly. He walked her home after the theater, as it was relatively close to her flat, and on the steps to her house, they shared their first real kiss.

It made Rolanda feel dizzy, and she had to hold herself back from grabbing him by the collar of his coat and pulling him in with her because she wanted to never stop kissing him.

On their fourth date, they went on a walk around an urban market, though they were more concentrated on each other than on the hand-made lemonade and the rustic yet modern pieces of furniture that were displayed.

Every so often, they dipped behind one of the stalls to snog, and Rolanda felt like this was the best date she'd ever had. She felt like a teenager again as they held hands, and for the first time in forever, she dared to think that this could become more.

OoO

Two weeks later, Severus invited her to his place. He wanted to cook dinner for her, and she gladly accepted, as they hadn't had spent that much time together lately due to his work.

On the other hand, it had given her the time to think about what was happening between them without being distracted by her racing heart when she saw him.

She found that she felt good around him, better than with any man before, and she liked his sense of humour, that was always mixed with seriousness as well. He was modest, attentive and courteous without making her feel like he was taking over everything.

But if she was honest, there was one problem. It probably was nothing, but it still bothered her a bit. While they had talked so much, he'd never really answered her question about his hobbies. Though he'd talked about how much he enjoyed reading and cooking and going to the theater, she still felt like he'd held back something.

However, she'd decided that she wouldn't let herself be influenced by that; it was going so well between them that she didn't want that to be spoiled by anything.

When she stepped into his flat on that evening, she just shoved those thoughts away before she shoved Severus onto the couch, desperate for some contact. One of his rare smiles played around his lips as he kissed her back with the same intensity, his hands running over her body nearly shyly. They both knew what was going to happen on this evening, and she was feeling light-headed in anticipation. Just as Severus' fingers started to play with the hem of her blouse, an alarm came from the kitchen and he whispered hoarsely: "We don't want the food to burn, right?"

A tiny bit disappointed, she got off his lap and smiled smugly as she watched him go into the kitchen, telling her: "You can have a look around, if you want. I'll need five minutes to get the plates ready."

Being a sometimes rather nosy person, he didn't have to tell her twice. To her, his giant bookshelves were no surprise. There were three of them, filled with classics, historical novels and specialised books from which she couldn't even understand the titles completely. She'd been better in languages and sports than science in school.

Looking around, there really wasn't anything extraordinary, she thought, at least until she spotted a giant box standing on his work desk in the corner. She could still hear Severus pottering around in the kitchen, and so she edged closer, feeling like she'd found what she'd been worrying about.

The box was filled with neatly organised playing cards, though she had no idea what these were for. Wizards and elves and other mythical creatures were printed on them, and at the bottom of the cards, things like 'Attack', 'Defense' and 'Level' were listed. Of course, she'd heard of games like these before, but she'd always believed that this was something for children. Her nephew, if she remembered correctly, had this exact game!

And from the sheer quantity of cards, she could only deduce that Severus had invested a lot of money into his collection – she could still remember her sister complaining about how expensive everything after the basic pack was.

One pack was still unopened, and a small label indicated that it had been bought on a game convention on the other side of Great Britain. Right next to it even lay the receipt, and Rolanda gulped as she saw the date.

"Okay, dinner's ready!"

She whipped around, seeing how Severus' smile fell as he spotted her standing next to his card game box. Before he could say anything, she hissed: "You lied to me. You said you were busy marking your student's works last week, but in reality you went to a convention."

It looked odd, how he stood there, two plates in his hands while glaring at her.

"So, you think those games are childish? Okay, then go!"

"It's not all about the game," Rolanda exclaimed, walking over to grab her purse anyway. "If you had told me about it right away, I probably would've found this funny! I have nothing against them, but I hate being lied to! And you didn't tell me the truth, repeatedly."

He looked rather surprised about her statement and opened his mouth to say something, but she didn't give him the opportunity. For a moment, she thought about telling him to call her if he was ready to be honest, but then, she just stayed quiet and left his flat, disappointment settling heavily in her stomach.

It had been too good to be true, she guessed. She should have known that there was destined to be a hitch somewhere.

On the other hand - had she overreacted? Maybe it was a reflex by now to push men away because she feared that they were like the others?

As she sat in the train, she decided that she would call him tomorrow and apologise.


End file.
